Giving Up On Faith

I simply can't believe in him anymore. To many repetitions, to many faults, far to many inconsistencies. I can no longer believe in, no longer trust, my future self. I've given him so many assignments so many jobs, and he's failed again and again and again.

Frankly, I'm tired of it. From this point on me and my future self are through. I can't predict how he'll act, how he'll think, or even how he'll feel.

It's obvious that if I want anything to get done I'm just going to have to do it myself. Future me is far to unreliable.

I believe now that who I'll be in the future will be meaner, lazier, and more impulsive then I am now. The only way I'll ever get something done is if I can get it done before future me gets his hands on it.

It's a strange mental construct, this distrust of my future self, yet so far its succeeded in preventing procrastination.

Fascinating.

Games and Violence

I was the lone man out amongst a bunch of strangers in a small school-sponsored mini camp. I was the new kid, attending my senior year in a new town. This was suppose to be a team-building friend creating shindig. I was there for the extra credit.

As part of the team building exercises we played a calvinball like game. Kickball, with a whole bunch of balls, each side trying to get the most balls possible across the field into the opposite teams goal.

I'm no sportsmen. I get nothing but air and that's trying to kick a soccer ball. Still, some things, like running, doesn't need any eye-hand coordination. So I played the game.

At one point me and a tall dark haired fellow were running towards the same ball. He got to it first, but I just kept on running. I got to him and gave him a full armed push, sending him sprawling. As I ran to grab the ball I heard a couple of the teachers talking,

"What happened? Did he trip?"

"No. That jerk pushed him."

As I ran by I could see the disappointment and even hurt in the teacher's eyes.

That's the only time in my life I've ever attacked a stranger.

I keep hearing people worry about video games making kids violent. If you're going to worry about something making your kids violent, worry about sports.

Now--this is somewhat facetious of me. For all my inability--I love sports, especially any game I can play with half-way competence. It's fun! Now, does it inspire some violence? Absolutely! It's unfortunate, but competition, especially in contact sports, tends to have that sort of an effect.

Sports are more violent then video games, and they inspire more violence. Probably because sports are real and quite physical.

Yes, some poorly designed experiments correlate games and violence. But maybe you should compare playing games to something else then doing nothing. How about sports?

A Midnight Foray In Coherent Though

Pun intended. Forgive me?

I expect no magic from these words tonight. I could run the usual complaints--but principally the issue is simply that there are no words preformed in my head, no argument waiting to be freed.

So instead it is an attempt to bring about coherence to a mind tempted to run towards meaningless--a memory thought kind of TV reruns.

What is Bendoism?

A joke.

It's the religion of Ben--it has only two doctrines. There shall be warrior monks and there shall be flying nuns. That's it. But hey, I like it.

In the context of this blog--currently (and who knows how long) a blog with 0 readership. Do I actually want people to read about what I meander on during those silent stretches of a frantic (or frenetic?) day?

Well--even without a readership I suppose it's only fair--even if only to myself--to explain what this blog is going to be out and what it's going to cover.

My thoughts, questions, and obsessions. For example in the next few days you should see some posts considering these topics:

Masculinity and juvenilization in the media and what it means. (Specifically looking at Dumb and Dumber and the TV shows Bones and Castle. Others may be included)

The effects of temptation on blessings, obedience, and happiness.

The real "partisan problem." (Hint--I'm going to suggest that it's dishonesty rather then disagreement.)

Habit alteration: Difficulties, tactics, and current strategies.

The enlightened skeptic: How good scientists deal with cognitive dissonance.

Property, Liberty, and Taxes: Does a government have the right to take away property from one man and give it to another?

Somehow I think that's more then enough for now. I'm a little intimidated by a own list. It's not that I haven't thought about these things--but putting together a well written explanation is hard though I think I'm capable.